The world’s weirdest, wildest and wackiest beauty treatments

Hailing from: Japan
Designed to: smooth and calm the skin

Emily Ratajkowski crediting a snail mucin essence for her baby-soft skin was one thing but having the critters (in all their alive-and-well glory) literally slinking over your skin is in a whole other kooky neighbourhood. And yet that’s just what some Japanese spa patrons are enduring in the name of anti-ageing. These aren’t just any old sidewalk snails, though – they’re generally treated as (mini, shelled, slimy) celebs within the salons, raised from birth and fed only all-organic carrots, mustard spinach and Swiss chard. So, if you’d rather a moist trail of slime on your face than fine lines, then hey, escar-go for it (sorry). The scientific evidence may be tricky to nail down, but mollusk mucin took off in topicals, so why not treatments?

Image via: Ci:z.Labo/Alamy

Hailing from: Thailand
Designed to: shrink pores, combat wrinkles and tone the face

Judging by the reaction to this years’ Oscars incident, it seemed fairly agreeable that slapping is never a good move. And yet, some people are literally paying to be slapped silly (in an effort to smooth and sculpt the face). Don’t think you can get a ‘good’ slap session at just any salon, though – there are only 10 humans on Earth that know the secret technique of ‘Massage Boxing’ (with only two of them residing outside of Thailand). And get this: the effects from a sole 15-minute session are allegedly able to last up to six months. As for the pain? It’s said to be akin to a ‘little ant bite’.

Image via: The New Paper/ The Moving Visuals Co.

Hailing from: Israel
Designed to: soothe skin and relieve tension

Liken the idea of snakes crawling across your naked body to a nightmare? Oh, how naïve of you! It’s self-care, of course! In fact, in select Israeli spas, serpent massage ‘therapists’ are quite in demand. While the snakes used (ranging from corn snakes to California kings) are all non-venomous (um, we would hope so!), different sized variations are harnessed for different pressure levels. For example, larger snakes help alleviate deeper muscle tensions while smaller ones create a lighter ‘fluttering’ effect. Apparently (we’ll take their word on this as we shan’t be trying it), the kneading effect (and the cold compress-like pressure that these cold-blooded reptiles offer) is rather relaxing. Because, sure, why wouldn’t you feel zenned out with snakes slithering over your back?!

Image via: Getty Images

Hailing from: America
Designed to: reshape toes to comfortably fit into high heels

So apparently ‘toe-besity’ is a thing to worry about now – when will it end?! ‘The Cinderella surgery’ (also referred to as the equally bone-chilling ‘stiletto surgery’) is a strictly cosmetic procedure (AKA not necessarily recommend, you know, health wise) that narrows the foot and reshapes the toes to allow a more seamless fit for your favourite pair of heels. There are variations available based on need (or want, really), with two of the main players including toe-shortening (precisely what it sounds like – eek) and fat injections (where a ‘cushion’ of fat is pulled from another area, like the abdomen, and injected into the sole for added comfort). We’re not even sure stiletto-superfan Carrie Bradshaw would go to these lengths. Flats forever.

Hailing from: Japan
Designed to: boost collagen levels and metabolism rate

Ever had a bowl of ramen so good you wished you could swim in it? You’re in luck! That very adventure is only one short (okay, long) flight to Japan away! The ‘ramen’ bath that’s all the rage in Hakone contains a pork-based broth (that is allegedly packed with collagen), and utilises the ‘float and marinate’ format to ensure every nook and cranny of your body absorbs it – nice, right? The word on the street is it’s also ace for boosting the metabolism – basically, the more ramen you bathe in, the more you can eat! The best bit about this treatment? It’s a group activity. Not only will you get to experience the glamorous life of a noodle (dreams do come true), but you may also walk away with some likeminded ramen-loving pals.

Image via: Getty Images

Hailing from: China
Designed to: illuminate and refresh the face

“Ah, my face is on fire” may be a common complaint among the sensitive skin crowd, but as it turns out, there’s a treatment (that’s all the rage in China) that takes the saying quite literally. How the hell does that work, you may be wondering? A towel soaked in flammable alcohol (and a skin-nourishing topical blend) is draped over the face (or any part of the body) and then legitimately lit on fire. Don’t panic (too much); it only stays lit for a few seconds, not allowing the fire to physically reach the skin, but getting damn close. The aim is stimulate the skin,kickstarting skin’s collagen and brightness. Call us wimps, but we just happen to think that illuminating and igniting are two very, very different things…

Hailing from: Britain
Designed to: restore lost proteins and enhance hair health

If you asked us what substance we’d most like our locks to lounge in for hair health’s sake, bull semen would no doubt be at the very bottom. And yet a hair treatment hailing from London sees just that ingredient (ick) being used as a ‘protein-rich conditioner’ (ick, again), massaged into dry/damaged hair and then heated to allow the hair to absorb all of its, um, goodness. The goal is glossiness (as well as enhanced hair health), as it’s able to help restore the protein naturally found in hair molecules (that things like heat damage and environmental elements so rudely steal). There’s blessedly no scent (and at least your hair doesn’t ‘feel’ texture the same way that skin does), but damn, we think we’d rather split ends than semen-soaked strands.

Image via: Mark Thomas/Science Photo Library