The weird, wacky and kinda gross beauty treatments celebs rely on

J-Lo levels of glow certainly don’t come cheap – Lopez allegedly spends approximately $1,200 per week (imagine seeing that cost crop up on a joint credit card statement) for a facial treatment that harnesses the skin-smoothing powers of human placenta. Honestly, we think we’d rather cope with a little uneven texture from time to time; ick.

This list wouldn’t be complete without Kardashian’s infamous ‘vampire facial’; if you’re unaware (or you blocked it from your memory due to discomfort), the treatment entails a doctor drawing your blood, spinning it in a centrifuge to extract the turnover-boosting platelet-rich plasma within, and then applying it to your face to the point where you look like an extra out of Twilight. While she’s since admitted the treatment wasn’t for her (her pregnancy meant painkillers were a no-go, FYI), she says sister Kourtney is still a “huge fan”.

Bieber is another celeb that has jumped aboard the blood bandwagon, opting for the at-home alternative instead. How does that work, you ask? She uses a moisturiser concocted specially for her by former-surgeon and owner of self-titled skin care brand, Dr. Barbara Sturm, that contains, yep you guessed it, drops of Bieber’s own blood. Platelet-rich plasma strikes again.

Ever found yourself feeling envious of Bullock's velvety smooth eye area? She names haemorrhoid cream as her wrinkle and puffiness-fighting secret. “Apparently butt cream does help lines around the face,” she said of her unique use for the stuff. Kim Kardashian and Emma Stone are also said to be fans, so the results must be worthwhile.

True to her roots, Ambrosio counts herself as a devotee of the Brazilian hair burning technique that apparently sends split ends packing. Here’s how it works: small sections of hair are twisted to expose flyaways, before an open candle flame is run up and down each one, burning breakage away as it goes. Sure, an old-fashioned trim seems like a safer option, but have you ever seen one split end on her head? Exactly.

Firstly, yes you read that right. Secondly, yes again, Blanchett has in fact admitted to getting what she referred to as ‘the penis facial’. It's more officially known as the ‘Hollywood EGF Facial’ and involves foreskins being collected during circumcision before their stem cells are then harvested and extracted through a centrifuge. “No babies were used – only clone cells taken years ago! The facial includes a cleanse, followed by an intensive TCA peel, micro-needling machine and an electrifying mask to calm the skin, followed by my ‘secret box’ of EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) serum,” explained Georgia Louise, the NYC-based facialist behind the treatment.

Of course we all know working up a sweat is a good thing in the classic sense, but after struggling to stay motivated Gomez decided to do things a little differently in the perspiration department. “I’m one of those people who’s like “Ah, I ran for five minutes, I think I’m good, [so instead] I have a sweat bed which looks like a burrito that I wrap myself up in, and I sweat for about 45 minutes,” she told ELLE.

Clay as a face mask? Undoubtedly. Clay as a snack? We’re not so sure. Woodley is on board though, admitting on The David Letterman Show that she often downs a teaspoon of the stuff because it “binds to other materials in your body and helps your body excrete those materials that aren’t necessarily the best for you”. Whatever works for you wellness-wise, we suppose?

Paltrow isn’t exactly orthodox when it comes to her beauty routine in general (don’t pretend you don’t remember the vagina steaming incident), but voluntarily opting to let bees sting your face (um, ouch) still takes the cake. “It’s a thousands of years old treatment called apitherapy. People use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring. It’s actually pretty incredible, but man it’s painful," she spilled to The New York Times. Bee stings? Painful? Shocker.

So apparently Beckham drops (pun most certainly intended) hundreds of dollars at a time in the name of a topical treatment comprised of nightingale droppings. Why on earth, you may be wondering? Experts claim that their brightening, illuminating and exfoliating abilities are through the roof. We must admit we feel for whoever it is whose job is to collect and sanitise the stuff pre-treatment – yikes.

Got a spare $7,000 laying around? For argument’s sake, let’s just pretend that’s an amount any of us would ever spend on one (yes, one) sole treatment. Welcome to the life of Mila Kunis, who shelled out 7k for a precious stone facial that uses rubies and diamonds to revive radiance while you suck on an ice cube. We sure hope the frozen water was free, at least.