Your self-care guide to sex toys

When it comes to self-care, nothing hits the spot quite like a post-orgasm rush of endorphins. 

In the words of sex positivity pioneer Abbie Chatfield, “[masturbation] should just be a part of your self-care routine and part of taking care of yourself, really.”

And we have to agree. Taking ownership of your sexuality and personal pleasure is extremely important, especially as women. After all, for those who were raised to constantly appease and please others, it can be difficult to prioritise our own desires and needs. 

This sentiment often extends to the bedroom, leaving our perception of our own sexual pleasure somewhat distorted, and tied up in the sexual fantasies of our partners. 

But we’re here to assure you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the time to satisfy yourself first. In fact, taking the time to practice intimacy with yourself is a sure-fire way to improve intimacy, connection and the potential for pleasure with your partner. 

That’s why we’ve employed the help of sex and relationship expert Dr. Lurve to guide us through the wild and wonderful world of sex toys. To Dr Lurve, sex toys are “a great way to add a new and exciting experience to what happens between the sheets, whether you’re alone, with a lover or multiple sexual partners!” 

“What’s important to understand is that the best sex toy for you might not be the best for someone else and vice versa,” explains the good doctor.  “Much like our preferences for wine, our sex toy choices are based on personal likes and dislikes.”

And because you might not know what you like until you try it out (all the more reason to buy a sex toy advent calendar this year), Dr Lurve has helped us breakdown some of the best sex toys out there and who they’re best suited to. 

So regardless of your proclivities, it’s time to get down with your bad self. Doctor’s orders.

2024's Top 3 Sex Toys

1. Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator, $89.95, Lovehoney
2. Lelo Mia 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator, $129, Lelo
3. Biird Namii Clitoral Suction Stimulator & Vibrator, $165, Biird

The best sex toys for Valentine’s Day

There’s no better time to explore sexual intimacy than Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re loving on yourself or sharing your affections with a special someone, February 14th is the day to try something a bit different. 

Plan a romantic date night that ends in mutual massage or try your hand at tying up your partner and teasing them. It’d be a shame to miss out on all the great deals leading up to the international day of love. 

We recommend: 

Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator 

From $74.95 (usually $89.95) at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Utilises air pressure for pleasure 
• Cute rose design 
• Contactless stimulation

Available at:

• $74.95 (usually $89.95) from Lovehoney

LELO Flickering Massage Candle

From $49 at Lelo

Key features:

• Three enticing aroma options 
• Nourishing formulation of natural soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil
• Easily melts into a luxurious pool of massage oil 

Available at:

• $49 from Lelo
• $38.50 from Amazon Australia
• $55 from Look Fantastic

Lovehoney Tie and Tease Pillow Present Bondage Kit

From $54.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Silk-design 
• Packing has been designed for gifting 
• Three tantalising beginner-friendly options

Available at:

• $54.95 from Lovehoney

The best sex toys for beginners

A sex toy virgin? Welcome friend.

According to Dr. Lurve, “if you’re a sex toy virgin and ready to pop your battery-operated cherry, it’s a good idea to think about what stimulates you in the bedroom when alone or with a partner. Using what you like to your advantage, you can then make an informed decision about what sex toys you want to start using. 

She recommends starting slow with “a bullet vibrator that’s compact and easy to conceal (Emma Corrin never leaves the house without hers), or a finger vibrator you can slide onto the tip of your index finger for extra stimulation.”

We recommend:

Lelo Mia 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

From $129 at Lelo

Key features:

• Specifically designed to fit to your body
• Lightweight and discrete (can be taken anywhere)
• Battery time lasts for an hour and a half of pleasure 

Available at:

• $129 from Lelo
• $119.99 (usually $129.99) from JouJou
• $90.30 from Amazon Australia

Dame Fin

From $129.99 at JouJou

Key features:

• Optional tether 
• Multiple textures for stimulation variation
• Medical grade silicone

Available at:

• $129.99 (usually $149.99) from JouJou
• $119.95 from The Iconic
• $149.59 from Amazon Australia

The best sex toys for clitoral stimulation

Considering the clitoris is the only organ in the human body dedicated solely to pleasure, it’s a good place to start when shopping for vibrators.

“When looking for clitoral stimulation, it’s good to think about how intense you want the vibrations to go and how you want it to feel overall,” Dr Lurve advises. “There are so many varieties of clitoral vibrators out there from little bullets to rabbit ears, wands to suction, even ones that mimic tongue movements – it depends on what kind of feels you want down there!”

We recommend:

Biird Namii Clitoral Suction Stimulator & Vibrator

From $165 at Biird

Key features:

• Hands free function
• Two-in-one design 
• Magnetic base doubles as a mood light 

Available at:

• $165 from Biird
• $234.71 from Kogan

LELO Dot

From $259 at Lelo

Key features:

• Precision points
• Elliptical movement
• 10 year quality guarantee 

Available at:

• $181.30 (usually $259) from Lelo
• $249 from The Iconic
• $174.30 from Amazon Australia

Le Wand Rechargeable Massager

From $324.99 at Wild Secrets

Key features:

• 10 speeds and 20 patterns
• 360 rotating neck
• Heavy duty pleasure wand

Available at:

• $242.99 (usually $324.99) from Wild Secrets
• $244.99 (usually $289.99) from JouJou
• $299 from The Iconic

The best sex toys for G-spot stimulation

Ahhh the elusive G-spot. Yes it’s real. And yes, sex toys can help you find it.

“When it comes to the infamous G-spot, there are toys out there designed to hit the spot every time,” the doctor assures us. “With G-spot rabbit vibrators and G-spot and clitoral 2-in-1’s that will take you to the next level, and your sleek curved vibrators and dildos aiming for the elusive spot, there’s endless possibilities and multiple orgasms ahead.”

We recommend:

Frenchie The Double Entendre

From $95 at Frenchie

Key features:

• Flexible and bendable design
• Chic satin storage pouch
• Dual motor 

Available at:

• $95 from Frenchie
• $95 from The Iconic
• $95 from David Jones

Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

From $139.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• 36 possible vibration combinations
• Multiple simultaneous points of stimulation 
• Thick flexible rabbit ears for clitoral pleasure

Available at:

• $139.95 from Lovehoney
• $139.99 ($169.99) from JouJou
• $119.99 from Catch

Vush Myth G-Spot Vibrator

From $109.99 at Wild Secrets

Key features:

• 25 pleasure settings
• Textured bulb head 
• Slim neck design

Available at:

• $87.99 (usually $109.99) from Wild Secrets
• $94.50 (usually $135) from Vush
• $130 from Sephora

The best sex toys for anal stimulation

You bet anal orgasms are a thing. In fact, they can be even more intense than regular orgasms thanks to all the sensitive nerve endings.

“If you’re wanting to try anal stimulation, there are so many ways to get what you’re looking for when it comes to butt play,” says Dr Lurve, “From butt plugs to anal douches, remote vibrating plugs to real-life replica dildos, no matter what you’re after with anal, you’ll find pleasure isn’t too far away.”

We recommend:

BASICS Anal Beads 6 Inch

From $14.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Smooth PVC
• Six graduated beads
• Ergonomic (and safe) finger loop

Available at:

• $14.95 from Lovehoney

BASICS Slimline Butt Plug

From $16.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Firm but flexible design 
• Narrow neck opens to flared base
• Safe for prolonged wear 

Available at:

• $16.95 from Lovehoney

Tracey Cox Supersex Glass Dildo Set 

From $69.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Glass dildos for internal and external pleasure 
• Borosilicate glass can be heated and cooled for temperature play 
• Multiple different ends and nodules for enhanced pleasure

Available at:

• $69.95 from Lovehoney

The best sex toys for men

Reading this and have a penis? Don’t worry, we’ve got you too.

“The number of sex toys for men is growing each year, and there’s some great gadgets out there for people with a penis,” confirms Dr Lurve. “With realistic fleshlights and sex dolls, blow job suction and stroker toys, penis pumps, prostate massagers, vibrators and masturbators, reaching new heights in your sexual game isn’t just [reserved] for the ladies.”

We recommend:

Lovehoney High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

From $99.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Flared textured based for perineum massage 
• Curved shaft stimulates the prostate
• Remote controlled fun

Available at:

• $59.95 (usually $99.95) from Lovehoney

Fleshlight Flight Pilot Male Masturbator

From $81.99 Wild Secrets

Key features:

• Twist base allows for suction play
• 0.5 inch opening
• Offers a range of stimulating textures

Available at:

• $81.99 from Wild Secrets 
• $69.95 ($84.95) from Lovehoney
• $78.14 from Club X

Blowmotion Warming Vibrating Male Masturbator

From $129.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Heated to 40 degrees 
• Provides authentic blowjob simulation 
• 18 stimulating intensities

Available at:

• $99.95 (usually $129.95) from Lovehoney

The best sex toys for partners

Rather play with a friend than by yourself? There’s plenty of sex toys that can satisfy both parties in the bedroom.

“When you’re looking to spice up your sex life with your partner and one of you has a penis, a cock ring is a great investment as it can be stimulating for the both of you,” the doctor suggests. 

But what if you’re trying to promote connection? Well, according to Dr. Lurve, “putting on some lingerie is a nice way to transition into intimacy if you’re having trouble reconnecting to begin with.” 

“You can also find love eggs and jiggle balls to be a fun way to each participate, with one of you inserting the egg and the other receiving,” she suggests.

We recommend: 

Elixir Play Garnet

From $99.95 at Oz Hair and Beauty

Key features:

• Versatile and stretchy design 
• Crystal shaped
• Simple single-button control 

Available at:

• $55.47 (usually $99.95) from Oz Hair and Beauty
• $89.95 from The Iconic

Svakom Nova Kegel Balls

From $69.99 at Wild Secrets

Key features:

• Pelvic floor strengthener 
• Three different ‘ball’ options of different weights
• Designed with a silicone safety string 

Available at:

• $62.99 (usually $69.99) from Wild Secrets
• $69.99 (usually $79.99) from JouJou
• $64.95 from Amazon Australia 

Lovense Lush 3 App Controlled Rechargeable Love Egg Vibrator

From $239.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• App-controlled 
• Up to 5 hours of continuous use
• Near silent for wear anywhere

Available at:

• $199.95 (usually $239.95) from Lovehoney
• $224.99 (usually $239.95) from JouJou
• $184 from Amazon Australia

The best bondage accessories

Want to delve into the risque world of bondage? Dr. Lurve says that “getting into some bondage is great as long as you’re both comfortable with it, and there’s so many options for BDSM toys and gadgets that you can start slowly and work your way into what you both enjoy.” 

“Be patient with each other and always have open lines of communication to make sure you’re both having the best time!”

We recommend:

Bondage Boutique Pink Furry Handcuffs

From $19.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Fun and fluffy design
• Quick release lever
• Removable furry sleeve

Available at:

• $19.95 from Lovehoney

Bondage Boutique Seduce Me Lover's Bed Bondage Kit

From $119.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• 4 piece beginner faux leather set
• Reinforced nylon strapping
• Cuffs, blindfold and gag-strap lined with soft faux fur

Available at:

• $119.95 from Lovehoney

Lovehoney Black Bondage Tape

From $14.95 at Lovehoney

Key features:

• Sticks to self without sticking to skin
• Simple to use
• Strong bondage hold

Available at:

• $14.95 from Lovehoney

You know what pairs excellently with sex toys? Lube. Here are 6 modern (and chic) lube brands for the modern woman.

Main image credit: Getty